Looking for Yoga One Studios schedule and classes? Click here!

Give Up the Hypotheticals .. Be Present NOW

In this life, I wear many hats.  I am a wife, mother of three, high school teacher, yoga teacher, graduate student and Zumba instructor.  I am a person who historically runs on connection, dreams big, and finds interest in basically everything.  I am constantly finding things that have value, interests that I want to explore, beautiful things, people to add to my life, and experiences to add to my bucket list.  

I rarely subscribe to the line of thinking that less is more because clearly, more is more.  The only thing that is less.. is time.

This is the reason that our focus of “give up what you must” has resonated so much with me this month.  There are so many things I want for my life, my husband’s life and the lives of our children. In some cases, these “things” can serve as motivation for me:  I grind harder, work longer and dream bigger because of the hopes that I have for my family. But if I am to be honest, most days, my mind is overrun by things that I haven’t accomplished or provided which ultimately leads to the same fear. The fear that shows up is that I’m not doing something right and that I am not being a good enough mother, which will lead to messed up children.

I have huge expectations for myself.

Each of my hats comes with its own laundry list of expectations and on any given day, the list of things I “should” do on my mind is astronomical.  Daily, my mind is cluttered with thoughts that I, should’ve made overnight oats last night so I’d have breakfast today, I need to sign the boys up for swim lessons, I need to join a church, eat less meat, reach out to old friends, spend a bunch of money and get printouts of every iPhone photo we’ve taken in the last 10 years, call my sister, meal plan, pray for myself, pray for others, journal my thoughts, start my blog, create a vision board, do the laundry, pay my bills, thank someone for something nice they did, meditate, get the kids in music lessons, MAKE MORE MONEY, use all natural products, floss, practice yoga, set up vision appointments, braid my daughter’s hair, start making smoothies, learn about crystals and essential oils, heal fractured relationships, and the list continues to lengthen.

In order to not feel like a failure because, let’s be honest, this list will never get completely done, there are several things I have to give up.

And this month has given me pause to practice dropping the thoughts and patterns that plague me over and over.

Firstly, I have had the opportunity to step away from my expectations for providing awesome stuff for my kids and see that they are just awesome people by themselves.  

They are becoming well-rounded, compassionate, loving creatures who will not file a lawsuit against me for not putting them in piano lessons soon enough or for not reading with them 20 minutes every night.  

I have dropped everything extra to acknowledge that they had all they needed when I carried them in my belly and they still have that same thing; me.  All of me.  

Secondly, I have decided to give up the feeling of pressure that comes up when my hopes, dreams and goals pop up.  This is necessary if I am to experience joy around actually making these goals happen, as opposed to shame if they don’t.  

Thirdly, and maybe most importantly, I have focused on stepping away from comparison.  

I have heard it said that, “comparison is the thief of joy” and in order to enjoy the happenings of my everyday life, I must not compare my life to the lives of others.   When I fail to do this, my perspective shifts and my accomplishments simply seem like a little bitty drop in a huge body of water. I am often robbed of my joy. I find myself comparing to mothers on Instagram who have beautifully manicured homes and children and who make amazing meals, throw amazing birthday parties, and somehow still look fabulous themselves. I am not them.  Nor do I need to compare myself to them.

Giving up what I must has been a lesson in surrender.  

It has been a gentle reminder that surrender is different than giving up, and that even beautiful goals that I have for myself can be things that don’t serve me if I use them to measure my worth.  

Giving up what I must allows me to let go of hypothetical situations to be here, present.  

It is my hope that giving up what you must will create new space for you in your life and your yoga practice.

Written by VoNique Wilson
VoNique Wilson is a Midwestern girl with a passion for God, family, and fitness. She found her way to Yoga One after moving to Charlotte from Milwaukee. Yoga has helped her to find connection with others, connection with God and connection with herself. She understands the power of her breath as well as the power of her impact on others. Teaching yoga allows her to shine her light on others and to in turn, teach them how to find and share their lights with their friends and family. 

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Stay connected with your yoga practice!

Take your practice with you for just $9.99 per month! 

Subscribe Now with 14 day trial!

50% Complete

Two Step

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.